Time keeps on ticking away, Renzo still is not here. From time to time I meet people who have either recently had a baby, or have just celebrated their child's 1st Birthday. Where we should be one of those parent's, what we have to offer is only a memory, and a vision of what should have been.
The milestone of Renzo's 1st birthday has come and gone. It was a tough week leading up to and away from it. We did not know just how we were going to handle it, but we did the best we could. What started out as a "Chuck-E-Cheese" weekend with a girlfriend of mine (with her child, of course), turned out to be the celebration that would have been.
Before you know it, my niece and I snuck away to buy some baby blue balloons, after all, this was more than a barbeque.
It was obvious that the mood of that particular weekend would be a challenge, I thought that renting a "bouncer" would be fun. It did not matter to me that only 2 kids would be there, it was for Renzo. Besides that, I was going to get in and celebrate the birth of my son, the birth of our son.
Bit by bit more people were invited outside of our immediate family & best of friends, including more kids - As I jumped up and down in the bouncer I smiled, I felt happiness in my heart, pleased for the moment despite the obvious. It was super being with the kids (big and small) in the bouncer, they were happy and being part of their special moment meant so much to me.
It was a good event, more than we could imagine. We did a ceremonial releasing of the balloons for Renzo, wishing him a happy birthday and thanking him for his presence. How we wished he was physically here to receive those balloons, but nonetheless, he was here in spirit and in our hearts.
At the end, we celebrated with lotsa ice cream, cheesecake, and the leftover birthday cake from the prior week.
I cannot say that this will become an annual event, but I can say, the milestone that should have been his, but turned quite the opposite, was a very important milestone for us.
We miss you Renzo, we miss you so much.
Feliz Cumpleanos.
Con todo mi amor,
Mamita
About Me
- Forever Lorenzo's Mother
- It has been 14 years since my son passed away while at a home daycare. Life, as one can imagine, took an incredibly challenging turn, but here I am. I rarely identify myself or those closest to me on this page, as in the beginning it served as a sort of "therapy" just for me. I am grateful to have had a place to come to when I needed to "communicate" and make sense about what the world happened to my beautiful boy, my life. I am also grateful that I could look back in this diary of sorts and now see that along with an amazing support system, absolute faith and persistence to survive has brought me to where I am today. Much love and light to those on the road of recovery - any recovery. Believe in what may seem impossible...