The cat that suddenly appeared

I mentioned Buds sometime ago, he is the cat that appeared on Thanksgiving morning, about a month after Renzo passed away. A beautiful grey cat, Buds was named so for the obvious. My husband and I sat on the carpet Thanksgiving morning, putting together some photos of Renzo that we were going to place in a frame just purchased online. We wanted the pictures up to make everyone comfortable, the frame with various pictures still sits on the wall before the front door. My husband and I both cried, it was a simple task that was incredibly painful. He got up after a while, as I sat and indulged in the memories of what once was. Tears rolled down my face, it was much too much for me. My oldest son came out and sat with me, feeling for the moment. That was a strange occurrence,I didn't know I was that loud. After a while, he too left. I gathered the scattered pictures and put them away. As I got up, I looked to the back door, there was Buds peeking through the window.

Through a very trying time Buddy was with us. At first we didn't let him in, soon enough he was sleeping on our bed. My head would turn around in wonder, where did our baby son go? Why is there a strange cat on our bed? Maybe we all needed each other. We treated Buds like our own, but he was accustomed to the outside so we accommodated him with in and out privileges. So many told us to keep him in the house, I could not do that. How could I take away this free being and lock him up in my environment? It was a pleasure to see Buddy lounge in the sun, climb a tree, chase a squirrel.

The cat that suddenly appeared has disappeared.

It's been near 3 weeks that Buddy has been gone. My level of "cetainty" that he would come back is diminishing everyday. I still have hope, yet nothing surprises me anymore. I found it interesting that, at the same time Buds disappeared, I was feeling a dark emotional layer being lifted. I suddenly felt more "normal" than not, hard to explain, yet that is exactly the way it felt. As a friend put it, and as I already knew, Buds came at a very fragile time, he was right on time, and now he's gone.

I miss him too...