A year ago almost this very moment was the last time I spent time with Lorenzo. We had our routine every night, like me, he was like clockwork. Late afternoon/early evening I would stroll him around the neighborhood before the sunset, he would usually fall asleep. After came the feeding, the playing, my own feeding, the bath. Lorenzo loved bathtime. Never much for tears, he smiled and blinked everytime the water rolled down his face. And when it was time to dry him off he would love the hide-and-seek towel game. As I placed baby lotion on him I would sometimes sing silly tunes in hope of distracting him from a cold moment, but he never complained.
This night I placed a sort of Jungle Gym on top of my bed. It was red with white polka dots, looked like a big lady bug. With soft padding on the bottom and dangling objects of all sizes on the top, Lorenzo would lay down and gaze up at the different things hanging down. At the same time, I would alternate different toys in anticipation of him eventually getting bored. With the television on in the background, I would dim the lamp little by little until he went to sleep.
This night RACHAEL RAY's $40 A DAY was on. I gotta tell you, he seemed more intrigued with these type shows, moreso than cartoons. In any event, this night I remember sitting up on my bed with my back against the pillows. As I peeked around his play area I felt a distinct energy. An energy most of us have at least felt once in our lives, the energy of someone looking at us. I turned to my right and looked down. It was Lorenzo. His eyes were incredibly full. He looked me straight on, it took my breath away. When he knew he had my full attention he smiled at me, it was beautiful. My heart literally skipped a beat, I was in awe of his command. As I took a breath I held my hand to my chest and said "Lorenzo, mama loves you too..." Never in my life had I felt the radiant feeling that he gave, it was magical.
I thanked the lord before I went to bed that night, I cried because I was so happy, I truly knew that we were blessed...
About Me
- Forever Lorenzo's Mother
- It has been 14 years since my son passed away while at a home daycare. Life, as one can imagine, took an incredibly challenging turn, but here I am. I rarely identify myself or those closest to me on this page, as in the beginning it served as a sort of "therapy" just for me. I am grateful to have had a place to come to when I needed to "communicate" and make sense about what the world happened to my beautiful boy, my life. I am also grateful that I could look back in this diary of sorts and now see that along with an amazing support system, absolute faith and persistence to survive has brought me to where I am today. Much love and light to those on the road of recovery - any recovery. Believe in what may seem impossible...